To Priests, From Someone with Same Sex Attractions
Over the course of my time coming to terms the same-sex attractions that I experience while bathed in the good, true, and beautiful light of the Catholic Church, I've come face to face with some of the most incredible men that I've ever known. Many of them are incredible father figures and compassionate spiritual directors. I believe that they are all powerful intercessors to God for their flocks.
The Catholic priests that I've had the pleasure of coming to know and love have done wonders in my life, and in the lives of many others.
Some have come into my life for only a season, and some I know will remain with me for the long haul. I am beyond thankful for those brave men who not only carry the spurn of the world on their shoulders, but also the prayers of the faithful that they shepherd so well.
That being said, I have had a rather unfortunate run in with a Catholic priest, one that left me feeling confused, disoriented, and scared.
I regret not standing up for the faith with him; it's a regret that's heavy on my heart to this day.
The only way I can think to make up for not speaking up then, is using my platform hear to speak up now.
To my dear priests, brave bearing of Christ to the people, please, do not be afraid!
Please, don't be afraid to tell me that no love compares to God's, that nothing can take it's place.
Placing anything above the love of God will only leave us feeling empty. The pursuit of holiness is the purpose of life, and what a beautiful thing! Each of us is called to become saints, and each of us is also met with distractions and temptations that can cause us to lose sight of that vocation.
I think here about the story of the woman at the well, how she kept having to return to that well only to end up thirsty again.
Christ promised this woman living water, which was He Himself. Beginning to realize that this was no chance encounter, and that this was no ordinary man sitting before her, she said to Him, "Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw." (John 4:15)
I don't want to draw from the well of lessor loves anymore; I always end up coming back, never satisfied, never truly wanting to be there.
Direct me and others like me to Christ, who will give us the living water that is His Divine Life. Whether we realize it or not, that's what we desire most.
Please don't passively allow me to return to the well that will leave me empty, but bring me to Christ, the Fount of Living Water.
Please, don't be afraid to tell me that the design of the human person testifies the will of God.
From our physical anatomy to the natural order of our desires, we can come to understand who we are, and how we are to act through our nature as human beings.
My former spiritual director, during confession, would always remind me of how inherently good I am, not because of anything I've done, but because I was deemed so by the God who created me. I may not have understand the depths of this when he first began to say it to me, but I do now, now that I understand who I am within the context of Whose I am.
Throughout our lives, we can run into situations or be placed in circumstances that can disorder the natural order of our desires, and lead to us forgetting who we are, and Whose we are. This was definitely the case for me.
But my priest, my dear father figure and friend, helped me to rediscover the face of Christ, and the beautiful plan that He has for me. He lead me to the cross, where I saw real love for the first time, and my life has never been the same since.
Please be brave enough to point us back to God when we lose sight of Him.
Please, don't be afraid to tell me the truth, even if it's difficult for me to hear.
This is a hot button topic. Emotions get high, and feelings get hurt, but this is no reason to withhold the truth. I understand that it's difficult at times to be the barer of difficult news, but it would be extremely uncharitable to water down the Gospel for me just to make me feel better.
Now, there is a way to be compassionate with people. We would all do well to understand where people are coming from, what they believe in, and why they believe what we believe before we propose what we believe. Great compassion is a necessity when addressing any sin in any capacity.
I think of Christ's encounter with the woman caught in adultery. "Neither do I condemn you," our Lord says to her after the crowd is gone.
But, He does not stop there. "Now go, and sin no more," He continues.
Christ shows the woman compassion, but quickly thereafter calls her to conversion. Yes, Christ meets us where we are, but He doesn't allow us to stay there.
Please don't be afraid to call me to conversion, to a transformation of the heart, to a life lived in pursuit of holiness.
My dear Fathers, I've been reading this book called Hinds Feet on High Places, by Hannah Hurnard. I want to share a passage from it with you.
It's a lengthy one, but I feel it beautifully captures everything that I wish to say in this letter.
"The Song of Songs," the loveliest song,
The song of Love the King,
No joy on earth compares with his,
But seems a broken thing.
His Name as ointment is poured forth,
And all his lovers sing.
Draw me -- I will run after thee,
Thou art my heart's one choice,
Oh, bring me to thy royal house,
To dwell there and rejoice.
There in thy presence, O my King,
To feast and hear thy voice.
Look not upon me with contempt,
Though soiled and marred I be,
The King found me -- an outcast thing --
And set his love on me.
I shall be perfected by Love,
Made fair as day to see.
I, along with my brothers and sisters with SSA, carry a heavy burden. That, I doubt any of us would ever deny.
But you, you brave men who carry Christ the Bridegroom to the Masses, you know who is our Greatest Love, the only One who can fulfill the hearts of men!
My one true love is Christ, and Christ alone. He created me to return to Himself, and He wills to drive out any and everything that would steal me away from Him, including lessor loves.
My Love, my King, found me, "and set his love on me." He does this with each and every one of us! But there are some priests who will be too afraid to remind me of that, or are just unsure of how to do that.
I know that I may be a rare case, but it may not always be this way.
One good priest can create a world of change, change that the world desperately needs right now.
Whoever you are reading this right now, I may know you, I may not, but I know my Church, and I know that there are incredible men out there that serve as her priests, and I wanted to take this time to encourage and uplift you.
Be not afraid, my dear Fathers.
Your flock desperately needs you.