What If I Said Yes to God?
There's a lot going on right now in my life.
My home could be ravaged by Hurricane Irma, with another tropical storm tailing close behind.
My family is being torn apart it seems, and no one is quite sure what to do.
I have a friend that I'm pretty sure I'm romantically attracted to, and I'm very scared about that.
And I'm worried, and I'm afraid.
I've spent a lot of my life being afraid of the future, and much of the time I worry about things that don't even happen.
The fear is overwhelming. It's so real, it's so painful, and it's so hard to deal with.
There's a lot of inner turmoil, a lot of anxiety and fear.
But over the past few weeks, I've learned to ask myself what God is trying to teach me when storms come. What is the lesson that can be learned here? What is God trying to say to me?
Now, I feel like God is calling me to go into the storm, to not be afraid, because He is my champion, and He is with me. He's calling me to be the lit candle in the dark chapel, and set fire and bring light to everyone and everything around me.
God is calling me to be a saint.
What a lot of people on the outside looking in miss about Catholicism, in my opinion, has a lot to do with the saints. These people, these courageous men and women who have gone before us, and yet are still very much with us. They see the statues, the chapels, churches and cathedrals, and they wonder why on earth we would pay so much attention to these people and not direct all of our attention to God.
Well, I'm here to say that the saints did what they did, and lived how they lived, to do just that. Direct our hearts and minds to God.
Their witness, their faithfulness, and their intercession guides us on our paths to holiness, and they blazed these beautiful trails for us to follow.
That's what I want to do. That's what I know I have to do, or I will have wasted my life.
Fr. Mike Schmitz, during his Keynote speech at SEEK 2017, said that it is time for a new generation of saints to rise up. He told us that it is time for us to get to work, and it's time for us to accept God's will for us, and live according to His plan.
What could the world be like if I were to say yes?
What could God do in me and through me, if only I were to say yes to Him?
I honestly don't know, but I want to.
And know that I don't want to be a saint for my own glory. I don't want sanctity for the Churches to be dedicated to me, for the feast day celebrations, for any of that.
I want to be a saint so that people will know that I spent my life glorifying God. I want to be a saint so that people will know that it's Him who deserves the praise, and the glory. It's God who came into my heart and transformed it. It's God that I sought after, and it was Him who gave me the strength to become a saint.
I don't want any glory or fame or earthly pleasures. They can't satisfy me. They were never meant to.
I want God.
I just want God.
Should I become a saint one day, I would want to be the patroness of those with Same-Sex Attractions. I want my time in Heaven to be dedicated to interceding for each and every soul that comes to me. I want them to see God in me. I want them to see that God loves them through His love for me.
There are millions of souls being lied to and tortured by Satan today because of their SSA. He's got them captive, holding them as prisoners, and I refuse to let them suffer without knowing that I am here, and I am praying for them.
I want to dedicate my life to helping them, and I want to eventually be in Heaven asking them to follow me there.
I want to be a saint to them. I want to be a saint for them.
I want to be like that window in the picture above. When it's dark and cold in the world, I want to be the window that sheds the Light of Christ's Face to all who look upon me.
That's the role of a saint. That's the life that I'm called to.
What good could be done in the world, if only I would say yes?
Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.
Luke 1:38
Please pray for me.