To You, the Catholic with SSA
When I was growing up, I hid the fact that I struggled with SSA for years. I was embarrassed by it, ashamed even. The first person I told, one of my best friends, was concerned that I was going to end up falling in love with her and stopped hanging out with me.
Others encouraged me to act on my attractions because, it was "just who I am, and I should feel the need to hide who I am."
I had no idea where to turn, or what advice to take, or who to look up to.
Now I'm not saying I'm an ideal role model by any means, but over the passed couple of years, I have come to learn a few things that I wish I had heard back then.
And today, I'd like to give that advice to any Catholic that struggles with Same-Sex Attractions.
You're good. You are so good, my dear friend.
There's nothing wrong with you, and don't let anything or anyone tell you that there is. You are good, you are strong, you are beautiful, and capable, and known, and loved. This is by far the most important thing that I want you to know.
And please, don't try to ignore that you feel this way.
Trust me, that will only make things worse. For years, I tried to ignore it and it ate away at me until I had nothing left. That hole I'd dug tempted to swallow me and never let me go. It was miserable. I beg you, please don't ignore this.
At the same time, don't let this control you. Don't fall for the lie that you have to reduce your entire human experience to who you're emotionally and/or physically attracted to. You're more than the SSA. You're more than what you feel. Don't ever make the mistake of zooming too far in on the picture of who you are, and forgetting that you can zoom back out.
Know that the Catholic Church loves you. This Church, this faith, and these people have never made me feel more at home. Get rid of the idea that the Catholic Church "hates gays" because she doesn't. She beautifully accepts any and all people, and invites them into an intimate relationship with the divine.
And yes, there will be those Catholics who don't practice what they preach and who don't truly know what they're called to profess and believe. Don't let them run you away. They aren't the true model of our Christian faith.
I hate to tell you this, but you will come across people in your life that won't understand you, and they'll do everything they can to make you feel bad for it. I've had friends and family alike insult and harass me because of my views. Know that those kind of attacks come with the territory; we're all going to deal with it someday.
Remember that Christ called those who are persecuted because of Him blessed. You are so blessed, my friend. You are a strong enough for this trial.
This cross isn't for the faint of heart. So, given that knowledge, you must not be faint of heart. I don't believe for once second that Christ would've asked you to carry this cross if He wasn't fully aware that you could. You carry it for a reason. In time, I think you'll find out what that exact reason is. But for now, carry your cross, and carry it well.
It's going to hurt. I'm not about to lie to you and tell you that it's going to be easy. But trust me when I say that it's going to be worth it in the end. Calvary is a beautiful place because it's at this place that we are called to unite our sufferings with Christ, and to be completely detached to the world and united with Him.
Remember that the sacrifice that God made on the Cross was a sacrifice meant to save you. Christ died out of unconditional and unfailing love for you, and would have still done it if you were the only one.
I don't care how sinful you think you are. His grace and His mercy is still more.
I compare the cross that we bare to the ocean; it can be very very treacherous, dangerous, and frightening. I can seem to sweep you under its waves and threaten to drag you out into nothingness.
But remember, that we serve a God that walks on water. That commands the storm to be still, and it listens. That same ocean can be beautiful, and calming, and can draw so many different people out to its shores to experience its beauty, and I this cross can be the same way. Yes, it can be difficult, and yes, you can fall under its weight, but there's calm after the storm. Be patient, my friend. It's always darkest just before the dawn.
So, to you, the Catholic with Same-Sex Attractions, know that this life is a gift, and the cross that you bear is a beautiful one. Heaven desires to have you home, not to let the cross you carry drag you to Hell.
Christ calls you to take up your cross and follow Him. Follow Him into His death, and follow Him into His resurrection.
How will you answer the call?