At the Well on Good Friday (Divine Mercy Reflect 1)
Lately I've been reflecting fairly heavily on the story of the woman at the well (John 4). I see so much of myself in her, and I deeply desire to have an encounter with Christ much like she did.
When I pray with Scripture, I find it most fruitful to bring the words to life where I am in the present moment; I do my best to see how the story would come alive to me where I am in my life right now.
In this particular passage, I saw Christ at the well of my heart, and I had an encounter with Him.
I came to the inner chambers of my heart, my holy of holies where God and I are so intimately joined, and I saw Christ there, sitting at the well deep inside of my soul.
My gaze was locked on Him; I began to feel like I should run away, like I shouldn't have been there, but I was also so captivated by Him. I wanted to be closer, to hear His voice, to know why He was there to begin with.
In my reflection, I knew what all Christ would say to the Samaritan woman. I've heard this story time and time again, and I'd become so familiar with it. But I don't think I was quite familiar with how this story would play out for me in my ponderings. I began to see things a bit differently.
Within the well in my heart, I saw things swirling in the water that I knew shouldn't be there. The disordered desires for affection and validation, vanity and pride, envy, despair and even a general disinterest in life. And yet there was a jar in my hand, a jar I new I returned to this well with over and over again to draw from this water. The vicious cycle was made evident to me, and I could clearly see why I always remained to thirsty.
Christ looked at me, just like He did the Samaritan woman, saying so gently, "Give me a drink." (John 4:7)
Just as the woman saw herself as a Samaritan and Christ as a Jew, I began to distance myself from Him. "Lord, I am a sinner, and You are the Christ. You should have no dealings with me."
But the story goes on, and Christ again offers me the living water that is He Himself, and I'm so hesitant to take it.
I think of this reflection today, on this Good Friday, because it is on this day that the Blood and Water which washes away our sins and quenches our thirst was poured out from the side of Christ, from the depths of His Most Sacred Heart. This living water is offered to us again and again, and yet I keep returning to draw from the well that will never fill me.
But today, on this day that Christ asks us to bring to Him "all sinners, and immerse them in the ocean of [His] mercy," (Diary, 1210) I think of myself being at that well. I think of myself as a sinner, but seen by God as worth of His love and His unfathomable mercy.
The rays of the Divine Mercy coming forth from the Heart of Jesus into my soul on this day are so blinding, because I desperately need a great amount of mercy. If my Lord can forgive me of all that I have done, the pitiful sinner that I am, He can forgive absolutely anyone.
On this day, as I breathe in the reality of my Merciful Savior's love for me, I speak the words that the Samaritan woman said before me. "Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst..."